Poetry
by Lamya El-Chidiac

Lamya El-Chidiac is a 27-year-old queer and transgendered Arab poet. Lamya is currently working on receiving an MFA from New College of California in Writing and Consciousness. Much of his work reflects on deconstructing and moving between the borders of gender, race, and sexuality.

The First of Many
When I kiss her,
for a moment,
the wars
inside my body
stop.

For a moment,
there is a blast of sex,
not of blood
splattering my insides.

There are always
these wars,
gun claps,
inside my chest.

Yes.
I know what it’s like
to be an orphan,
watching
parents die,
over money,
over white American dreams.

This battle in me
is fierce.
I think it could kill me.

Unless,
I destroy
all the mines
planted between my legs,
stuffed
inside my mouth,
I’ll carry the burdens
of womanhood,
and manhood,
like I’m carrying a bucket
on my head,
returning
to the well every day
for the rest of my life
to see if the well
is still dry.

So when I kiss her,
her full pretty lips
pressed hard
against my dark lips,
the wars stop.
And for one second
there is peace.

Stretch Marks Like Borders
I came into this world
cross eyed
a head full of black hair
reaching
for the purple night sky
twisting
like branches flying in a storm

the doctors said

I had a defect
a condition

they’d never seen
so many birthmarks

those men circled me
with their tools
as if they had discovered me

I came into this world
bloody and angry
my mother’s belly
rumbling

every time a bomb dropped in Beirut
every time the phone rang
every time the news came on

my mother’s belly grew
my Papy’s breath
warm in her mouth
came into me
and made me grow

When I look
at my skin
I see villages
and generations

I see my birthmarks
scattered like refugee camps

my stretch marks
like borders

I see the buildings
in Lebanon
with lesions and sores
and desires

for reconstructions
of imperfections
on flesh

Feature first appeared in TEA PARTY magazine issue No. 16 and has been reprinted with the permission of TEA PARTY magazine. TEA PARTY is an arts and culture magazine based in Oakland, California. It is a progressive and multi-ethnic publication with a strong social justice orientation. For more information visit: www.teapartymagazine.org